05 Dec 1985, Posted by Scott An Chora in Travelogue, No Comments.

12/05 Dubrovnik, Yugoslavia

Our train ended in Karajevo where we were left to wait for a bus.  There was nowhere to hide from the cold so we all had to move around a lot and it seemed like the bus was ever going to show.  We had scattered moments of sleep, moving here, moving there, trying to forget how cold it was.  That was one bad night.  The bus eventually showed up late and wasn’t scheduled to enter Dubrovnik until around breakfast.  I just dazed out looking past my reflection at blackness that was the sea passing by in a blur.  When our bus pulled in it was as if we were bread crumbs tossed in front of a group of pigeons.  The elderly women of the village wrestled over our attentions hoping that we would agree to follow them to their home.  We ended following one of those women up an endless flight of stairs.  I then understood why they were waiting around the bus depot.  It would have been almost impossible to find these places on our own.  It had a hot bath, wasn’t far away, we had already made the climb so we agreed.  At least the view of the bay from up there was a sight to see.  Jenni didn’t like the steps, couldn’t have cared less about the view and really wasn’t pleased with the room either.  She wanted to look elsewhere.  Let me rephrase that.  She wanted me to look elsewhere.  I agreed but it was only going to be eighty steps in one direction, then another eighty in another.  I wasn’t interested in spending much time on anything that derailed me from today’s goal.  I was tired and had planned on loitering under the sun inside the walls of the old city.  So once we got cleaned up and our things settled we walked into the old city of Dubrovnik.  After introducing ourselves to the city we ended up along its small harbor, gazed onto the sea, watched the sailboats wrestle with the wind, listened to the dancing of the breeze and eventually my eyes closed.  It was nice to feel the sun radiating from my skin.  Those old walls drove my imagination and provided me with the seeds to grow a few dreams by.

I love to hide away awhile, from the eyes of daily cares, where in the setting day, my smile, from within a humble prayer

Found within my solitude, the disappearance of a tear in my pleas to find forgiveness, where none but God can hear I know I’ve walked in weakness, I have fell and failed again and it seems, no matter how I try, There’s times, I’ve given in

Please hold me, in your love, for I need, strength to keep away from the darkness and the shadows, that somehow finds me, through the day So, I bow this head, face to the dust, and veil these eyes in shame I stand alone, in my self disgust, for where I’ve walked in vain

God, I pray, down upon these knees, it is here I shall stay you know, I tried to walk this road, alone and still I can’t find my way

Please hold me, in your love

Jenni was interested in heading back to our room.  I accompanied her out of the old city but once we arrived at our room I kept walking until I reached the end of the point and decided to keep trekking down along the water’s edge.  The next morning Jenni was all upset with me.  Supposedly I had touched her the previous night or something of that nature.  Even though we were affectionate, kissed and shared the same bed I had never taken things to a physical level.  She never placed a foot onto the bridge that indicated any sexual interest in me and over time she became more of a sister.  I enjoyed her company and considered her a good friend.  If she was interested I would have accepted that change in our relationship.  Her attitude was a little confusing, so I gave her some space.  I tolerated her new attitude, hoping it was hormonal and would go away.