11 Nov 1985, Posted by Scott An Chora in Travelogue, No Comments.
11/11 Bethlehem, Israel
I wasn’t sure if our bus could make the trip but luckily Bethlehem was not that far of a ride. Bethlehem was rather small and unexpectedly vacant. Typically I liked to walk around the outskirts and then worked my way back toward my destination. That gives me a better feeling of where I am. The church was also empty and there was nobody inside its wall but the two of us. It was kind of a shell of a church with an altar at the far end. At first I didn’t know that under that altar was the manger where Jesus was supposable born until we followed a priest down into it. It was a small space but toward the back was enough room to loiter. Inside the manger I had an unexpected experience. I can’t really explain it but it was like I could read peoples’ minds or at least feel their emotions physically. Groups of people would flow in and we would quietly watch them from the rear of the manger. They would sing hymns and break down in tears. Even a group of nuns came through and passed plastic crucifixes over the star. I supposed they now would fetch a better price in the market.
I noticed that the Star placed over where Jesus was supposable born had fourteen points and nobody could explain to me its significance. The plastic crucifixes kind of ruined the moment so we wandered into a small café in attempt to escape the heat. Few walked the streets. All the eyes we saw stared out from the windows as we passed by which was not the most comfortable of feelings. When we reached Jerusalem’s we decided to walk around the city and kiss each other under each gate to the old city. Those walls have witnessed sides of humanity my eyes will never see. I was born in a time and place where those shadows only lived in movies or news clips. Across the Mount of Olives the wind was blowing and whistled words through the branches of the trees. I sat there as the sun went down, jotted down ideas and reflected on what I had seen. A tornado of ideas and anger traveled past the arid sand and the bareness of the rock.
Through these olive groves and citrus trees,
from the hills of Galilee to the apocalyptic vistas of the Dead Sea,
the wind I’m told whisper prophesies…… But,
the fox comes running to the rabbit’s scream,
take my shadow and see that it does not follow me into my dreams”
Questions began filling my head. Do we really love God? Or are we in the process of defining ourselves in his image, in an image we have constructed? Could we ever really know God’s will? Will we ever really know what man is? I look at the world spinning in the universe and see an oasis, a garden in the desert of space. Not even too sure I understand space. With the knowledge we possess of its beauty and rareness how could our priority be anything but to nurture that gift. Be its care taker, a steward of the habitat and a part of the whole, because it is us. “We like parted rain drops fall, swelling till we meet and run. We shall be absorbed again and flow back into one”. In my mind, there is a wall that runs down the middle of my faith. It draws a line between the concept and value of the individual soul versus the concept that we are to separate from our individuality and to becoming a part of the whole, to join one another. I was raised on the first but think a lot about the second. It is a logical place to stand, for one to believe that we are all connected. Our responsibilities are interwoven. I will continue to search with the belief that I will be forgiven and delivered to the truth. “Where little has been forgiven little love is shown”. Forgiveness is God’s greatest gift.
Thou art my Lord ……. save me from those who pursue me
incline these eyes to see … keep me … looking toward … you … and deliver me
Thou art my Lord ……. in thy righteousness please hear me … incline thy ears to me
keep me … walking toward … you … and deliver me
Thou art my Lord ……. in thy names sake will thou lead me … incline thy ways to me
keep me … searching toward … you … and deliver me
Thou art my Lord ……. I shall find refuge when I seek thee … incline thy hand to me
keep me … reaching toward … you … and deliver me
Thou art my Lord ….. send me out thy light, and thy truth … incline my eyes to see
always … keep me … looking toward … you … and deliver me.
Keep me where the light is.
