24 Sep 1985, Posted by Scott An Chora in Travelogue, No Comments.
09/24 Countryside, France
I wandered about the northern coast of France skipping from hostel to hostel and enjoying their fine cuisine. Finding excellent food was easy but locating a smile or a friendly gesture from the locals was sometimes impossible. I felt that the rudeness the Northern French dished out actually provided the glue that bonded us tourists closer together. I came across a nice room in Blois and utilized it as home base to visit the chateaus in the area. The room was so picturesque but cold, still, my imagination wandered. Living around that much wealth, I couldn’t get rid of the feeling like I had stolen something. “The best investment is in the stomachs of the hungry”. I wished I had more resources.
Eventually I ended up back in Paris and I found myself in the company of the local elderly. They too enjoyed watching the many colors of children roaming the many passages that networked the parks. My plan was to head back into Germany. The local paper predicted sunny weather. I also had a few friends and a relative that were stationed with the US military in Germany just outside of Frankfurt. I thought I’d look them up while in the area. I sat in a small café looking over a cup of coffee onto a street, catching up on my writing and waiting until it was time to get up and board a train into Amsterdam. There I planned on picking up some hash on my way through so I would not arrive empty handed but bearing gifts. I grabbed a bite to eat and was back on train heading into Germany.
2. I have followed the river, it extends and leads to the paradox of man and his will
For I am free only to choose from the available options that nature presents, presents along its banks
I do not control the outcome of my own choices nor are these outcomes aligned with my intentions
but rather controlled by an environment I am not equipped to understand
You could come to believe most anything, in an endless pursuit of the answers, who am I to say
but I have come to know that at the root of every single strain of my being, lies fear
because the most fundamental questions to my existence have no answers and I fear what I do not know
The Biblical conflict of Adam summarizes, he being told that all doors remain open but one
curiosity would eventually grow towards such an obstacle
our nature is at conflict.
We must know the truth and we must avoid error and we cannot escape this reality
before us extends an endless choice between directions,
and if we are to grow and to survive, we are to choose
for if I stand at the crossroads and remain skeptical, waiting for more light before I decide between directions
I would be allowing my doubt to be cast between the light and myself
to remain, hiding in the darkness between, “neither hot nor cold”
“such a man would not gain what a trusting man would earn”
and this choosing between truth and error
we create apart from nature.
